I would like to take today and introduce my family. Being the only Grump ( a.k.a grown up) pretty much explains it all. Back in 1999 my husband and i decided we needed some time to think about our marriage of almost 12 years was headed. So he moved out. He stayed numerous places. Most of them i wasn’t privileged enough to know. This was in November. By Febuary of 2000 i was paying for all the bills and getting my 5 children up for daycare before i had to work at 7 am. I had a fuse box in the old house that we contracted to buy catch on fire. No one would come to fix. Finally one of the guys i had spoke to told me in a shaken voice. Your mother in law called us yesterday and because of that my boss said we can’ t come out. Although i begged and pleaded and recontacted all the other places, there was no one coming. So it seemed I was without heat and 5 kids.
I had contacted my mother in laws house the evening before and requested she let my husband know the fuses were sparking everytime the heat came on. I was told she hadn’t seen him in weeks. I pleaded with her. I got back he was not there and i would not be hearing from his anymore.
I took a bus to Wisconsin to stay with my mother until my husband, Greg, could take care of the house. It will be thirteen years in Febuary. He let the owner have the contract back and we have seen him seven times since. He broke my heart. We are still legally married. We seem to be able to communicate now. I love him still to this day. I asked and pleaded with him many times to move here. Away from his mother. She hated me since or first meeting. Which is a whole nother story. I find myself wondering if we could make it. I have decided that we are two very different people. I was served with divorce papers on the 13 th of October 2012. I have aways told my children that God granted me with 5 extremes to my own personalities.
People were so surprised to find out that I had all my children from one man. In 1988 i gave birth to my miracle baby. I had to been pregnant many times before. I had lost each baby. The dr said Britnee would abort herself when my very weak uterus could not hold her anymore. At that time the dr suggested I have a hysterectomy. I should look into adoption later in my life. My Greg married me knowing I would never be able to carry his biological child.
Britnee was a very stressful baby. She had colic from the 3 day she was home until she was 6 months old. She is now a beautiful, mother if 2 with another on the way. She has had many lessons in life, more then any young adult should have. She later ended up quitting high school and moving out at 18. My Britnee is now 24 yrs old and living with her boyfriend of 4 years. She works at the local hospital as a nurses assistant and is going to school to certify in human service relations. She has a different lifestyle then i would have picked for her. Yet i am very proud of her. I find myself loving her more each day. Britnee is the part of my personality that except. Excepts people for who they are and what they can do. Yet always excepting is not always good. This is one of my oersonality battles.
Brady was Britnee were exact opposites.
Very quiet from day one. He was born 22 months later in 1990. He was a breach baby with the ambillical cord wrapped 3 times around his neck and the 3 vessels not as large as they should have been, and shortened. He came out the color of a smurf. Was brought back with little paddle’s. Brady stayed in the hospital 3 extra days and then I brought back for seven more until his bili levels were where they needed to be. They said he would be slow. But back in those days nurses and doctors were very over worked. So thats just about as much information as we got. Brady was a great baby, toddler but come childhood is when his troubles began. The first real incident i remember happened in 98 when i had set down his adhd medicacion,adderal, on the table. He sneakingly took them off and went into the living room and proceeds to take the whole bottle of 20 some pills. When i walked in and saw what he was doing he looked at me and smiled. While he told me that if one pill makes him good the whole bottle would make his dad like him again. This was the beginning of a long line of personal battles for my son. My Brady is now 22 yr old. He lives with his high school sweetheart about 100 miles from his dad. I do not see nor speak to him often. He was diagnoised with adhd, odd, depression and possible schizophrenia just before he moved in with his father st 15. Brady is a very angry and confused child. Which was learned by me in 1999. While i was away at work his dad was psychologically and physically abusing him. Brady was a very challenging kid. Abuse was not something I dealt with well. Brady is my lost personality. The part of me who needed to do drugs and drink to calm the inside feelings and longings for something more. The i never fit in with anyone feeling. This is a personal battle I deal with many times a day.
Child number three was conceived from a weekend Greg and I had after he left me to move to Colorado to assist building the new airport. Greg drove in on friday and left on sunday. 3 months later I called him desperately to come home. I was sick and had found out i was pregnant 6 weeks earlier. I had not told Greg yet. I wasn’t sure I was going to. But I made that call desperate, I was battling chicken pox and school work and two very active kids. I needed help! Jolee was born on Easter of 1993. She was a joy to have as a baby. She was real small at birth. Probably due to me smoking all the way throughout the pregnancy. She is what brought me and my husband back together. Jolee was a fabulous well adjusted baby. This was a good time in our lives. We bought a 3 bedroom trailer in a well established trailer park. Life was good. She would like to go to school to work with autistic kids. Jolee will soon be twenty yrs old. She lives with her high school sweetheart about 60 miles from me. Jolee is the part of me who succeeds. The part that had dreams of a life where I was able to keep up with everything and wore beautiful successful clothes. People looked up to me and respected my decisions. This is still a part of me. Although I long for this….I do realize this part of me is incomplete.
Child number 4 was nothing less of a shock. Jorgie was born in the winter if 1996. I didn’t let anyone know I was pregnant for seven months. In between my two daughters we had lost everything. Our house burnt down. Our insurance only covered the pay off. We ended up renting a very crappy trailer on the other side of the trailer court. I had to get a job. Which i loved. I was a cook for a major supper club. I loved the people i worked with. I loved the break my job gave me from my very active family. I didn’t want to be pressured to quit by my husband or my employer. I was in complete denial. She was a tough child. She was colicky for the first 3 months. My first child born to me by ceasarion section. During her last month inside my womb she decided to jump in and out of the birth canal and never sleep. She had to basically be caught by the dr during the process of trying to be born. The dr told me that if a child could be diagnoised with adHd while in the womb my Jorgie would be it. Jorgie was later diagnoised with add, odd, and depression. Jorgie is the part of me who was always just average. I never successed at anything above the norm. She is also the loner. The one who has to have her time. Her space to herself. For her and I it is a need. Just like blood. When we hurt we hide and heal. When there is a day we read or write. This part of me I appreciate deeply. Although others don’t. Every man in my life has battled with me about this part of me.
Then comes my final and most challenging of children. Lawerence was the only one of my child born in my husbands home state in 1997. He was concieved after my husband had been “snipped”. My hubby had passed the no sperm test. Lawerence just was destined to be born. I had a tubal ligation after a very long pregnancy of bed rest. I concieved to quickly after my last birth. The incision site was weak. By my 3 month we knew he would be my largest of all my children born. The incision site was tearing from the inside. I was on bed rest for the remainer of the pregnancy. During this pregnancy i left my home state of Minnesota to try and save my marriage. We all packed up with a house already rented for us and moved to North Dakota. By the end of the first month we experienced a 4 day black out due to a horrific snow storm. With in two months we were housing people due to all of the local city flooding. I dealt with alot during those months. But in the summer of 97 my ten pound 13 oz bouncing baby boy was born. I walked home the following day with my son in hand. My husband had forgotten that i needed to be picked up. My son was an average baby i would guess. He wasn’t a very cuddly baby until about 6 months. He liked his distance from everyone. By the time he was ready to start eating baby food i started to notice extreme behaviors with certain foods. He never seemed to play with the other kids. He seemed to be all by himself in the world at times. He would never look at me when i would talk to him. At about one and a half i noticed he would pace in the living room when there was alot going on, which u can imagine was alot. My son was later ,after many years and tests, diagnoised with adhd, odd, asd, depression. It has been a long ride with my baby. Who is now a very challenging 15 yr old. This is the part of me who just doesn’t give a crap what you think. This part of me rarely shows. Due to my obsessive need to make everyone around me happy. I long for this side of me to show more often. But not in a bad way. More of a I can move on way.
So there it is. A brief introduction to the crazy up and down family and life of seesaw7.
Tags: add, adhd, asd, autistic spectrum, divorce, exception, family, introduction, love, schizophrenia, single parenting, special needs
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